Ask Pulse: What should I say to my married boyfriend of 3 years who wants to marry me?

I’ve been living with a married man in a house provided by his company for three years. His wife and children live elsewhere. He takes care of all my needs, but won’t get me my own apartment.

He says I’m special and doesn’t want to lose me to another man. He’s been pressuring me to accept a traditional marriage arrangement, but I’ve asked for more time.

He’s a nice person, but there’s a 21-year age difference between us, and I know he has other relationships. He’s 46, and I’m 25. Don’t judge me, but what should I do?

My first thought is does his wife consent to this relationship? Do they have an agreement? If not, you might need to consider your contributions to someone’s distress.

However, three years is a significant amount of time to be in a relationship. While you could have a traditional marriage with him, a legal marriage isn’t possible without a divorce from his first wife. This is bigamy and illegal.

It’s clear there’s mutual affection between you two, but you need to make a choice. Either commit to marrying him despite his unfaithfulness, considering he provides for you or end the relationship to regain independence and pursue other options.

You don’t want to be in this situation for much longer without making a firm decision. I know it’s not an easy choice to make, but I trust you will do the best thing for you.

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