The risk-reward analysis of running out onto the field during a baseball game will never reveal that it’s a worthwhile proposition, what with the inevitable arrest and fine and potential permanent ban. And yet people continue to do it because what if we just did it and became legends? Last night at Petco Field, a fired-up and hangup-free fan decided to interrupt the San Diego Padres’ 10-1 laugher over the Minnesota Twins with some physical comedy of his own. His brief performance included some halfway decent moves in the open field yet ended as these things always tend to end: under a pile of security personnel, exposed for all the world to see.
Pinning one’s self in by getting too close to a fence is a classic mistake. If our fearless hero here had simply stayed in the middle of the diamond, he could have prolonged the moment by 20, even 30 seconds. Somewhere a rowdy exhibitionist is grinding tape in their basement, learning from previous mistakes and planning the perfect streak. We await such perfection.