5 things you should never do after finding out your partner cheated

Whether they confess to you or you find out that your partner has been cheating on you, you’ll feel a lot of emotions ranging from rejection to betrayal, but how you deal with this information makes all the difference. Here’s what you should never do:

You are not an animal; don’t start breaking their television, car, or furniture and acting deranged. You lose their respect—I know you might not need their respect—but what of your self-respect? Plus, you could get arrested for it. Don’t be a violent person.

You are setting yourself up to be manipulated. You don’t need to know why they cheated on you; they made a choice, and it had nothing to do with you. They could have come to you with their issues concerning the relationship, but instead, they chose to cheat on you.

Don’t go down the rabbit hole of finding out who the person is, stalking them, or worse, confronting them in person and telling them to leave your partner. Your partner decided to choose them over you; why don’t you ask your partner not to cheat? Why beg them to leave your partner for you? They have no responsibility to you; face the person who is committed to you.

This makes you seem less valuable in their eyes. It’s okay to cry in private or with your friends, but please don’t cry and beg them to their face or through long text messages. They made their choice, especially if they were asking for a breakup. Accept your loss and move on.

If you find out your partner is cheating or cheated on you, there is no need to cheat back to even the score. Open relationships seldom work. Decide if you want to forgive them or not. If you don’t want to forgive him or her, let them go.