Donald Trump Doesn't Want to Think About How He Puts His Pants On, But Would Pour Water on Magnets

The Republicans have basically been embedded in Iowa since the state fair in August, but they won’t rest until every resident has had a chance to see all the top presidential candidates speak in person. And that’s why Donald Trump was in Mason City on Friday night to do his usual routine sprinkled with some new bits about pants and magnets.

“They had an almost billion dollar cost overrun on the magnetic elevators. Think of it. Magnets. Now all I know about magnets is this. Give me a glass of water. Let me drop it on the magnets. That’s the end of the magnets. Why didn’t they use John Deere? Why didn’t they bring in the John Deere people? Do you like John Deere? I like John Deere.”

There is probably an explanation of this, but we’ll just point out that John Deere was from Vermont and the headquarters for the company is in Illinois. Not that it matters because John Deere is immune to water, unlike magnets apparently.

Later in the show Trump addressed the question on everyone’s mind: how does he put on pants?

“First they say, Sir, how do you do it? How do you wake up in the morning and put on your pants? And I say, well, I don’t think about it too much. I don’t want to think about it because if I think about it too much maybe I won’t want to do it, but I love it because we’re going to do something for this country that’s never been done before.”

Now you can imagine this as a sincere question in one of those cognitive tests Trump is always bragging about or this is some convuluted way for him to say that people don’t understand how in general people just an’t believe that he does it on a daily basis. But starting with “sir” is also a dead giveaway that the conversation is completely made up. The only thing missing was a description of the big, strong pants-wearing solider or police officer who asked him the question.

Anyway, just 10 more months before Iowa is free of Republican Presidential candidates again.