‘Start the day with a treat’: an ode to hotel breakfasts

There’s nothing quite like a hotel breakfast. When else can you make your first meal of the day a multi-course affair, complete with a starter, main and dessert? If breakfast is the most important meal of the day, then one eaten in a hotel is surely the most important of all.

As a travel writer, I’ve stayed in plenty of hotels over the years. But the joy of a hotel breakfast has never worn thin. I’ve perfected the art of making the most of every element, from the first appraisal walk around the buffet to the knack of balancing three pain au chocolat on one side plate. That initial reconnaissance walk is key – on many occasions, I’ve sat back after breakfast, stuffed to the gills and rubbing my belly, only to see someone on another table eating a sticky cinnamon roll I somehow missed.

That’s another thing about hotel breakfasts. While you can always rely on a few solid staples, each hotel seems to throw something new into the equation. A wedge of brie? Don’t mind if I do. Mini pots of bircher muesli? Add it to the pile.

A good, diverse breakfast buffet is one of the few meals that can please any taste bud, from the fussiest eater to the greedy lover of food in all its forms. If you can’t find something you want to eat at a hotel breakfast, then the fault probably lies with you.

But while an abundant breakfast buffet is a thing of beauty, the ideal scenario is a combination of DIY stations and an à la carte menu. And that’s the case at Conrad Dublin. At the buffet, symmetrical displays of mini chia pudding pots are lined up over fanned slices of cantaloupe, pineapple and watermelon. Hefty slices of soda bread sit next to a tower of homemade scones, with blueberry muffins and mini croissants on the side. There’s even a giant slab of honeycomb, so you can spool off some raw honey for your toast.

Get it right, and your first attempt at the breakfast buffet should always look like it’s been plated by Jackson Pollock. But the hot food is best left to the professionals. The Conrad Dublin version of the full Irish is artfully presented, with chunky slices of white pudding splayed next to thick sausages and perfectly fried eggs, with bright orange yolks that dribble saucily when poked with a fork. Its pancakes are Instagram ready, deliciously springy and sitting in a pool of creme anglaise, with a sprinkling of edible flowers on top. With an extra plate of crispy Irish bacon to the side, you couldn’t ask for more. Well, unless you have a few Danish pastries for afters, that is.

A moment, too, for the breakfast beverages. I’m always looking for at least three options in front of me – freshly squeezed orange juice, some form of smoothie and a coffee, preferably pressed in a cafetiere. They go one better at the Conrad Dublin, with bottles of prosecco on ice next to the jugs of fresh juices, so you can make a breakfast mimosa and enjoy your breakfast in style.

That, too, is one of the joys of a hotel breakfast. Not the cheeky tipple, necessarily, but the fact that you can enjoy a languid meal without rushing. You’re not eating a bowl of cereal while absentmindedly watching the news or thinking about the washing-up. You’re starting the day with a treat, tucking into a veritable feast while plotting the adventures of the day ahead – where you’re going to go, what you’re going to see, and, if you’re anything like me, what you’re going to have for dinner. Because if you’re doing a hotel breakfast right, you will most likely be too full to eat lunch.

You’re also getting a little peek into local life, long before you’ve even put your coat on. At an Irish breakfast buffet you’ll have farls, black pudding and boxty – and baked beans are only served if you ask for them. You might see potato scones on the menu in Scotland, or crisp strips of laverbread in Wales. A good hotel breakfast is a showcase of the best local produce.

And don’t get me started on another one of life’s great pleasures: the room service breakfast. You may miss out on the joy of browsing the buffet, but you get to tick off your choices on the menu the night before, hang it on the doorknob, then wait for the following morning when you can eat waffles in bed while watching TV. If you ask me, any day that starts off like that is a good one.

Try as you might, a hotel breakfast is an experience that simply can’t be replicated anywhere else. Order three breakfast dishes at a cafe, and you’re a glutton. Bring 10 different kinds of cereal to your self-catering rental, and you’re eccentric. But when you’re in a hotel, anything goes. And that’s all part of the fun.

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