Video Emerges of Small Child Safely Exiting Slide That Sent Boston Police Officer Flying

There’s a viral video out of Boston this week showing a police officer exiting a children’s slide at a local playground at an alarming rate of speed. The officer comes absolutely flying out of the chute like a rocket-propelled crash test dummy. According to Boston 25, the officer was hurt and received medical attention, but did not miss any time at work.

One question many people had after seeing this video (many, many times) was why did the city of Boston install a slide that is so dangerous? Well, a second video emerged on Wednesday morning showing a child safely using the same slide.

Having seen this… what the hell happened to that cop? Was he greased up? Tied to public transit with a fishing line? Was he returning from another dimension? How did he get going so fast that he went well beyond the landing area while a child is able to slowly and safely stop right at the end?

We need our top scientists on this one right away. More importantly, we need a sign put up that keeps adults off this slide. There is clearly some evil force that ejects anyone who doesn’t belong there. This slide is from 2-12 year olds and not a day older. If you’re taller than this, you will be dealt with.